Saturday, June 29, 2013

Settling Down

I think that, by now, you pretty much know that my glass is almost always half-full.  I find positives in the negatives.  I guess I could honestly that say if you called me Mrs. Mary Sunshine, I wouldn't argue.  Even yesterday I commented about all of the negativity I saw on Facebook.  I know life can be difficult and shit happens, but honestly, the stuff I was reading was nothing but whiny complaining.  Basically, if you don't like it, change it kind of negativity.  I'm not perfect, but it really irks me when I see so much petty complaining.  Alright, alright.  I was complaining about complaining. Moving along ...

Now, that being said, I posted this on a day when I felt absolutely horrible. I chose not to share how I was physically feeling.  Quite frankly, I'm too embarrassed to share it.  At least until now.

A few days after my youngest son graduated from high school on May 29th, I got sick.  A wicked chest cold  that, for me, ended with a bad cough.  Now, not even a month earlier, I had bronchitis.  At the ceremony, a woman was clearly not well as she kept coughing directly behind me.  At first, I was really annoyed.  I calmed myself and thought that if it were me, and I was sick, unless I was in ICU, there would be no way on God's green earth that I would miss my child's graduation ceremony from high school.  I let it go.  I got sick three days later.  

As usual, I ended my illness with a persistent cough.  My family kept saying that this was the worst they had ever heard me cough.  It was bad, but I didn't see the need to do anything about it.  It was a cold.  It had to run its course.  I was right, and soon my cough quelled and eventually disappeared.

Last Tuesday, I woke up feeling great.  I began my day, and by noon, noticed the familiar sharp tickle begin in my throat.  I didn't think much at first.  By suppertime, I was coughing to relieve the itch.  By 9:00 pm I was coughing my butt off.  No other symptoms.  Just a wicked-bad cough.  

This was the worst cough I've ever had - and that includes a bout of bacterial pneumonia five years ago. The next day I went to urgent care. Not necessarily for the cough, but for the sharp pain in my upper back. I got nervous. The doc ordered X-rays. After that and a good listen to my lungs, he declared them clear and the X-ray proved it.  No Fever (until I got home, it figured), no infection. Cough syrup with codeine and some Tessalon pearls to allow me to sleep.  The next day, my eldest son came in and just looked at me.  Finally, "Mom, this is the worst I've ever heard you cough."  

I could not rest.  I could not lie down.  If I did, I'd cough myself sick, literally.  I actually started taking hot showers - really hot.  The coughing ceased, instantly.  It was my only way to get some relief.  At one point, I turned on the hot water as hot as it could get and stood under the spray so that the water went over me, or relatively so, and then leaned against the tiles and would actually start to fall asleep. I began to think I had adult croup.  I had all of the symptoms.  I still think that's what I had. 

On Thursday night, I somehow managed to sleep through the night, only to awaken myself with a nasty coughing fit.  I set myself up for another long day of hot showers and sitting up and trying to rest. By that night, my entire upper body was really sore.  My eyes hurt.  All of that pressure on them with the force of my coughing, I am surprised I didn't blow a capillary or something.  

Finally, on Friday night, I began to notice a bit of productiveness and the constant coughing eased into long fits but with an even longer respite.  

Today, it's even better, but now I'm wheezing because of all of the chest congestion.  I will be seeing my own doctor in the coming week.  Three bad bouts of coughing in under five weeks is a bit concerning.  We did have issues with our apartment that have since been taken care of.  Could they still be making me sick?  I am due for a complete physical, anyhow.  

I think that I am just finally over a very stressful six months.  My son was very ill himself for a better part of the last six months and school was really making him feel worse.  He worked hard to catch up from missing so much and he did it.  He graduated.  That stressed me out so much.  Perhaps my body is just paying me back for it. I'll hopefully get some answers from the doc next week.

I'm not going to lie;  I complained.  A LOT.  I just did it in the privacy of my own home.  Away from people.  I  tried not to complain too much around my husband.  God bless him, he's been dealing with me being sick for years and I know he gets tired of it.  He works himself silly then comes home and does all that he can to make me feel better.  Wow.  Thanks, Babe.  I love you.

Today, I started thinking about my next writing project and I'm excited about that.  I even went so far as to try to redo what I had started.  Soon, though, I had a pretty bad fit of coughing and suddenly the thrill was gone.  For now.  I do have a few new ideas that are really getting me excited about writing again. For now, though, I'm going to make some soup and throw the heating pad on my back.  It was a good day.  I spent it with my family.  My youngest and I watched East Enders (YES, I've dragged him into my Brit-soapy show!), and we drew together.  Then we moved outside and took the keet outside with us.  It was so nice out.  I even did some planting.  Later, the boys treated Rob and I to some dollar crabs.  I have to say, dollar crabs are the shit!  Some of the best crabs we've had in a long time.  Thanks, boys!  The Orioles KILLED the Yankees.  A good day.

It's nice to end this on a positive note.  

Until next time,



  1. Hey gotta have a rant every now and then, My friend. You take care of yourself.

  2. I feel like my kid and yours were one similar tracks in school (the super-sick and struggling to catch up track ~ which, BTW, totally sucks!!!) this year. What a year it was. Don't ever feel like you can't complain. You know, a lot of us get it. I try to be positive, too, but, sometimes, you just need a big ol' groanfest, and then you can be happy again.

    Hope you kick that cough to the curb and are feeling much better soon. In the meantime, rest, and do that thing we mamas often forget to do: take care of yourself.

    1. It's so frustrating at times, Sam. Some of Alex's teachers were so understanding and others ... were anything but. One of his teachers actually told me that he would have to do work while he was at home sick. She felt that this was "going out of my way to bend over backwards for Alex's sake." I bit my tongue - swallowed the blood - and simply said "If he is too sick to work in class, what makes you think that he's not sick enough to work at home? If he was well enough to do the work at home, he would have been well enough to do it in class and I then would have SENT HIM!" *crickets* His top priority was not trying to keep up with his school work, but to keep from coughing himself into the emergency room. It finally just came down to doing some serious battle picking. What did I want? To see my kid walk the stage? Sure! But not at the expense of his health. I'm elated that he did graduate with his class, but if happened to be a case of health vs diploma ... GED's are fine, too.

      As I type, I am coughing myself silly. Yes, the cough has evolved into a productive one, but it won't go away and now I'm fearing pneumonia might be creeping in. I'll keep you posted. Love you and thanks for commenting, Sam. Hug my little Cuzzies for me. ♥


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