Sunday, September 4, 2011

I'll Always Remember

I hope that what I am about to write does not upset anyone.  My intention is to is not to belittle anything or anyone.

I hate the first two weeks in September.  I think we all do.  There is so much going on with school starting back up... and 9/11.

I absolute refuse to watch another piece of film footage from that horrible day.  I saw enough when it was happening.  Our television was on for 36 straight hours.  At the time my children were eight and four.  On the first day I too was glued to the television.  My father lived only a few miles from the Pentagon.  I was terrified.  We all were.  The looks on not only my children's faces as they finally emerged from a chaotic, panic-stricken school, but their own teachers, will haunt me until the day I die.  My oldest son's teacher was holding back tears (He quickly told me his wife worked at the Pentagon and we later learned that she was fine) as he led me to my sons.

I don't mind talking about it.  Matter of fact, I think it's important to talk about it.  I don't mind the "Where Were You On September 11" conversation.  That thread was going around on Facebook a few years ago. I decided to share it on my wall.   One of my "Friends" husbands went off on me.  He was very verbally abusive towards me (he loves to throw "F-Bombs" --  thought it made him look cool), making ignorant, disgusting remarks and comments aimed at me and my commenting friends.     So, after I deleted all of his nasty comments (and un-friending him), we had a very interesting, adult conversation about what we were doing on that day; a lot of reflection, a lot of tears.  That I don't mind.

 Back in 2001, after the third day of watching footage, I finally had to put an end it . At first, we had to watch -- for our safety, but when it was clear that the attacks were over, I insisted that the TV be turned off.   And as much as I tried to shield my children from seeing the coverage, I could not be assured that they were not seeing it;  I know they did.  My oldest was drawing picture after picture of the Twin Towers being attacked.  I actually got angry with my husband and told him enough.  I simply could not stomach anymore.  I've seen enough footage to last ten lifetimes, and I never wanted to see it again.  To this day, I don't watch.  I can't. Those images are imbedded into my memory, forever. I don't need to see it on TV, or in magazines.   It does not mean that I don't care.  It does not mean that I have no heart.  It does not mean that I do not remember.  I will always remember;  I just wish the media would stop reminding me.

It really bothers me  that every year at this time we are shown footage and images that beg us to remember.  We see commemorative magazines.  Commemorative coins.  I'm sick that the media chooses to show scene after scene to sensationalize this horrible day.  I'm ashamed that so many use this date for profit.  I refuse to buy into any of it.  And with this being the "Ten Year Anniversary", I expect it to get much worse.

My cousin has a wonderful blog and posted. We Will Never Forget (So Stop Reminding Us) I laughed and told her that she beat me to it as I too was writing about the very same subject.  My aunt nailed it on the head when she said,

"Times like these (anniversaries) give the media people a break - all they have to do is dig up the old files, run them, and prattle on."  

I will always remember. 

I have my own way of commemorating this day.   I'll keep that to myself.   But I too, Bernadette, will choose to do something positive and will remember -- quietly and somberly.

Until next time,



  1. I agree Lil Cuz, As I have always said you have a way with words! Thanks for saying what I feel and probably many others !

  2. Well said, Bestie! I have images and horrid sounds stuck in my head. That's plenty.

  3. I guess everyone will remember where he was on that day and what he has done.

    I was in a business meeting with three fellow workers, talking about 2002's budget when suddenly the door opened and another fellow worker came in (without knocking).
    He said: The WTC just collapsed. It was a terror attack.
    One of the others said: Bin Laden?
    And the first one answered: not sure yet but who else?
    We kept on budgeting for about 45 more minutes.

    My office was next to a conference room which had a TV set, so after the meeting I went straight to that room.
    A couple of others were already there and the TV was on.
    We stared on the screen with open mouths. No one talked.
    It was just like watching a Hollywood movie but something was terrible wrong. There was no Bruce Willis to save the world. This was brutal realty. That's what we all felt.

    It was way past office time and at home I was overdue. I called my mom to tell her that I were on my way. She neither had watched TV nor had she listened to the radio. I told her to do that immediately.

    I remember leaning with my back on a lamp post while waiting for the train back home. I felt exhausted, surreal, tired, empty.

    The following day I decided to never watch any more footage again. And I haven't until today. The pictures have burned a deep mark in my brain. I don't need footage to remember.

  4. Thank you for posting this, my friend. {{hugs}}


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