Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A Sad Dream

Not really sure why I'm blogging about this.  Maybe it's just a place to jot it down.  I used to record my dreams almost every night.  Maybe this one will get me back into doing that.  Anyway...

I had a very odd dream this morning.  Maybe it's so odd because I have not had adequate sleep, lately.  My husband is very sick with the flu that is going around and I have been taking care of him around the clock for two days.  I am exhausted and finally managed to get four hours of uninterrupted sleep this morning.  Onto the dream.

I am in a really big house.  At first, I thought it was my Aunt Cammie's house.  Perhaps it was at first.  Most of my family on my father's side - including him - and all of my aunts and uncles that have passed on were there, as well.  I don't recall my mother.  Matter of fact, I believe she was deceased.

It was before Christmas.  It seemed like it was a long time ago.  I recall decorations and furniture to be in the age of the 1950s.  Lots of low, round and oval tables.  Olive green settees. I now think I am in my grandmother's home.  Funny, because I was tot when she passed away.  But the dream made it to be her home.

A friend of the family was also there.  Mary Walton.  I - and all of my cousins, called her, "Aunt Mary."  She was not only a very good friend to the Gambino family, she my mother's best friend.  In real life, she visited our home monthly.  She was my maid of honor at my wedding.  Anyhow, something happened.  Something bad.  I can't recall what that was.  My father was upset.  My uncles were upset.  Everyone came into this house, family by family.  When Aunt Mary finally arrived, everyone ganged up on her. Accusatory finger-pointing at her.  My father in disbelief.  Aunt Mary came to me in tears.  I was the age I am now.  I recall looking at her and suddenly Aunt Mary became very angry.  I mean extremely mad - at me.  I tried to speak with her, but she went outside of this enormous home and sat in the grass, now crying.  I followed her out there and again tried to speak to her.  We did  eventually talk, but I never got why she was so upset.

Some of my cousins arrived and wondered why she was sitting outside without a coat on and Aunt Mary was being so mean to them.  They themselves then became angry at the aunts and uncles.  My dad tried to arrange for us cousins to speak with his siblings.   Aunt Mary  came back inside, crying.  I put her to bed in another room, away from the family.  Now everyone was upset that they'd miss midnight Mass.  Everyone scrambled for coats and scarves.  I stayed behind.

Then, I woke up.

Sometimes, I really wish I could dissect my mind and find out why I dream about such things.  Did something really happen?  Was that really my Nana's house?  I think I went there as an infant, so I can't possibly remember the layout of her house!  Funny how anything goes in dreams.  I am - in no way whatsoever - accusing ANYONE of ANYTHING.  I am just reporting what I dreamt about.  And wishing I could rewind and watch again.

If anything has come from this dream, I now have Aunt Mew on my mind.  I think I will celebrate my Aunt Mary Walton, "Aunt Mew," today.  I miss her a lot.  She had the most infectious laugh!  The only woman I ever knew who truly giggled when she laughed.  If I did something to upset you, Aunt Mew, I'm sorry.  I just wish I knew...


*sigh*


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