Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Life Is Too Short

I am suddenly on the lookout for ways for my family to save money.  One of the things I suggested was to cancel our AOL account that we have had since it's 2.0 days in the mid 1990's.  I spent yesterday changing my primary email address and sharing it with  the necessary sites and companies.  I spent all of this morning going through and sorting through all of my email folders that I've had for 14 years.  A lot of saved emails.  I found recipes, photos that I had totally forgotten about, letters to elementary school teachers.  I forwarded the dear ones and deleted - forever - the ones I don't need.

I was just one folder away from being completely moved to my new Yahoo home.  Quite frankly, I was ready to be done.  I saw the name of the folder and my heart skipped a beat.

Dad

I had to go through it.  I was so hesitant to, though.  I knew what I was about to embark on;  a journey that I had already lived through, once.  I wasn't sure I wanted to go down this road again.  I looked for a way to just forward the entire folder, contents in tact, in an email.  Maybe there was a way, but by now, my interest was piqued.

The first 54 (!!) were just emails to family and friends telling them the news about Dad's diagnosis and what the situation was.  I read email after email.  Responses were so hard to read.  All gave love, support and prayers.  Some were me, typing my heart out in confession to a few close friends just how scared, lonely and angry I was.  It was hard to read.  Nothing changes.  Ever.  I still feel like I did on those lonely, long nights, missing my husband so desperately.  Missing my children so much.  Praying to God for a miracle.

I had to stop reading.  My eldest son peeking in to say hi.  I was hungry.  I decided to take a break.  I then just forwarded every single email to my new address without reading them.

Someday, I'll go back.  Or maybe I won't.  But just knowing that they are there -  the updates on dad's failing health, the emails to my husband and  missing him so much, emails sharing the news that Dad had passed away -  is very comforting to me.

Which brings me to my title post.  Life is too short.  Damn, it truly is.  I may have posted a somewhat similar topic in another earlier post, but it bears repeating.  Our lives are so open and instant, now.  Slow down.  Breathe deep...

Watch the birds.

Cut the toxic people out of your life and mind.

Lick the bowl.

Get dirty.

Be your own advocate.

Get a sitter and get to know your S/O.  Get a sitter and get to know yourself.

Teach your kid how to bake a cake.

Play an unknown piece of music.

Draw.   Even if you say you can't.  Draw.

Call your mom.

Call your dad.

Tell a person how you truly feel about them.

Do a random act of kindness.

Teach your kids how to play poker... with real playing cards.

When you receive good customer service, let them know.

Count your blessings.  No, seriously;   count your blessings.

6 comments:

  1. As always, very well done. You inspire, and touch those who know and love you in so many ways. I had a day last week when I couldn't get into the network for work, so decided to clean out my gmail (hadn't been done in about 6 or 7 years) and came across a lot of stuff from THAT summer (you know the one, summer of Tom). Found myself crying alot, but in a good, cleansing way. You're so right, life is too short! You, my friend, are one of my greatest blessings, and I thank God for you! Wonder if our Dads have met yet?

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    1. We have simply got to meet. Seriously.

      Crying can be very cathartic. The heart, mind and soul get cluttered. Crying washes them clean. I think we learn so much from reading old letters - be them on paper or email.

      I thank God that we found each other. You are truly one of my FAVORITE people on this planet.

      Yes. Our dads have met. They hang out and discuss music, tease the angels by asking them to fly over, only to ask them how far away they had been before they had been called over. ♥

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  2. So true, Bestie! I like that you forwarded the emails lock, stock & barrel. You can read them when you want; or not. But they're there in case you want them, so no regrets over getting rid of them.

    With the afternoon I've had, I chuckled at "Be your own advocate"! Something about my current situation and age makes me care less what people think; life's too short to play dead while someone tries to walk over me. (that seems to be resolved, btw...)

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    1. Donna, I was LOUDLY cheering you on. Don't you dare let anyone walk over you. Glad it's resolved... and now we move on.

      Love you BIG.

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  3. We truly are birds of a feather, peas in a pod, twins separated by six years! Isn't it funny that we thought of the same topic (and title) on the same day. We are so connected. I love you.

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    1. Funny, but not surprising! ♥ I love you.

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